Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris doesn?t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother?s womb.
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn?t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Chuck Norris? house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
Chuck Norris doesn?t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his *** kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother?s womb.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero
101 Chuck Norris Facts?
"the best part of waking up isn't Folgers in your cup!
the best part of waking up is know that you weren't killed by Chuck Norris in your sleep"
hahaha I LOVE THIS ONE!
i almost peed a little, and my sides hurt.
but u get a million stars
and stop catching and strangling my Smurfs
Reply:Chuck Norris can list 102.
Reply:O_O
Reply:I first read these in some site, last month. think you're such a fan eh ......to type it here all of them. when i first read this facts about chuck norris, i laugh too. still.....i chuckle.
cannot LOL right now, my boss watching!! But I give you a star 4 typing it for us....chuckle...chuckle....my boss still watching.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Is my story ok? please tell me! i want to know!?
Rate my story and tell me if its good:
It was a normal day for Anne and Kelly, who were laying about in Kelly’s bedroom, rather bored, for they had nothing to do. They had offered to clean up the neighbor-
hood, but their mothers had refused, seeing the hot weath-
er was rather....well, hot. Considering anything besides going outside, their list was rather short. “ What can we do?” cried Kelly. “ Could we IM Jane, Matt , Sandy, and
Lina at the same time? That would be fun.” suggested A-
nne. “Okay ” said Kelly, getting up. “ No need.” said a
voice behind them. They turned around, to find Sandy,
Jane, Matt, and Lina waiting for them. Kelly groaned loudly–––-she really wanted to IM them, not meet them.
“ Hey. What’s up?” asked Sandy, a tall, broad shouldered,
blond haired guy, who was the founder of six kids
so-called “group”. They never even met during the school year. Now, seeing it was summer, they met each other frequently, every other day. “Nothing. You?” replied Anne. “We were goin’ to that woods behind Rain Orchids.” said Lina. “They–—” she pointed to the guys--- “ claim there is a haunted house. Smack in the middle of the woods. A haunted house. In the woods ”she said, exclaiming it loudly. “ Yeah, right, we believe you, you’re down right we do,” said Kelly, though she looked like she was interested. “ Hmmm... there was something, uh, never mind.” said Jane, who was really thoughtful and curious about things like that. “ No, go on We wanna listen, don’t we?”said Kelly quickly. There were murmurs and nods of agreement. “Well, if you want to know, there was a house
owned by a business tycoon in the woods behind Rain Orchids, a man. He was a millionaire, and people would
die to meet him. He was really generous; he practically
owned Rain Orchids, he did donate a lot of money, and about anyone he met that seemed poor, he would give billions of dollars away to them,” Jane filled them in. “Wow.He sounds amazing But why would he live in the woods?A great man like him?” asked Anne. “I bet for secrecy,”said Matt. He also was a broad shouldered, tall guy, but with brown colored hair and green eyes, unlike Sandy, who had blue eyes. “Yeah, I guess. He wouldn’t want to be interviewed by The Journal everyday, now would he?” said Lina. She was a beautiful girl with sleek, shiny brown hair up to her waist. She also had blue eyes
and a fair skin complexion. “ Well, that makes sense, but, two things: What was his name, and was The Journal even established than?” asked Kelly, Lina’s twin; naturally,
she looked just like Lina, only with blond hair and glasses.
“Well, I think his name was Wayne Lenmore, and yes, The Journal was established then. Oh yeah, it was a long time ago, ‘bout the 1970s.” finished Jane, who was a tall, blue eyed girl with brown curly hair. “Then....um, lets GO Come on ” exclaimed Kelly, who was eager to find out about this “haunted house”. Everyone knew what she was
talking about, so they all hurried to Rain Orchids. Once there, they all asked Ms. Percidal about a man known to
live in the woods. Ms. Percidal was a thin, tall woman
with brown hair usually tied up in a ponytail. She babbled:
“Yes, there was a man, once, a long time ago, who was very generous indeed. He helped this old apple orchid a lot; I did him a bit of a favor: he wanted those woods, and I sold them to him. Never seen him after that, though, you’d think he would come back tovisit ” said Ms. Percidal. “But was his name Wayne Lenmore?” asked Anne. “ I believe so,” said Ms. Percidal.“Were those woods yours?” asked Sandy. He wore an eager expression like the rest. “Yes. They were mine, sold to me by an young man, around the age of 20. He looked quite happy to get rid of the land.” replied Ms. Percidal.“Did Mr. Lenmore have a house in the woods?” asked Matt. “ Not that I know of,” asked Ms. Percidal. After thanking Ms. Percidal, the group went to go in the woods.“Well I think the house is haunted, don’t care what you five think.” said Lina, the minute they got out of the orchid. “Well, I sure don’t. It’s all a bunch of nonsense, if you ask me,” said Sandy. “Well, no one is asking you, so you can keep your thoughts to your self,” snapped Lina.
“Ooooh, look, there’s a house Over there See it?” said Jane. “Where?” were the answers to Jane’s question. They
all ran to the area Jane indicated. “See? Told you Bet it’s
Wayne Lenmore’s...spooky,” she said, after glancing at it. It was at least seven stories high, with windows that were
broken and cracked and had shutters that were brown and the paint was peeling off. The overall house was a brown,
tinge and was rather black, but the paint, like the shutters, was peeling. The little grass around the house was brown and murky, making it look like a real haunted house. “Well...should we go in?” asked Matt. “Maybe.....or not.”
said Kelly. “Come on We’ll take a look, come out. We’ll
knock first,” he added, after seeing the expression on Jane’s face, who was frowning slightly. “Okay...” she agreed, looking weary. They all approached the house, and Matt knocked. RAP. RAP. RAP. He knocked. There was a slight sound, from the depths of the woods, and all was sil-
ent. “Well, looks like Wayne isn’t home. Lets go in,” said Sandy. “Uh, I don’t think–––“ started Kelly. “Lets go,” said Matt in a firm voice. They entered, and the inside of the
house was ruined; the house had white walls, but with pe-
eling paint. The chairs and couches were green and fancy looking, but with moth-eaten fabric covered over the rotti-
ing wood shaped for the couch. There were stairs, but they
were black and looked like they were once burned. The house felt rather cold and misty; the only light came from the blazing sun outside. “This is...well, kind of––-” “Creepy, yeah,” finished Kelly for Lina. TAP. TAP. TAP. “What– what was that?” asked a nervous Anne. “It came from upstairs ” yelled Jane. “Shh I’m trying to listen ” said Matt, but the sound grew louder, and louder, until it sounded like it was right next to them. “Lets GO Ahhhh Help Someone Help ” the girls screamed. “QUIET SHH yelled Sandy. “RUN NOW ” They all ran and ran until they were out of the woods. Panting, Sandy spoke to the frightened girls. “That was something...something...a animal,” he finished lamely. “An animal,” repeated Lina, fuming at him. “We could have––” started Lina. “—died ” screamed Kelly. “No,” said Jane. “We could have found out who is the ghost of Lenmore Mansion Or what is the ghost. Whatever.” Jane corrected Kelly. She turned to Anne, “Um, why did you scream, ‘Run now’ ? That was totally little kid’s stuff to do.” Anne just looked puzzled.
“ I didn’t scream anything,” There was a pause. “Then who did?” asked Jane. There were shrugs and frowns of the question. “Well, I think we should never go back to that creepy place.” said Kelly. “Weren’t you so keen to go
there in the first place, Kells?” asked Sandy. Kelly blushed,
and muttered, “Uh, well,----no----I mean, well–---- um, ma-
be, sort–yeah,” she said, trying to hide her face. “Anyway,”
said Matt, “ We should try finding out about Wayne. Does anyone have suggestions?” he asked. “ We could find old
issues of The Journal , and see if there is anything about him
in there,” suggested Lina. “Yeah That’s a great idea ” they all exclaimed.”But lets meet here tomorrow, ‘cause I gotta
leave for a reception party tonight.” said Jane. “Me too,”
said Lina. “ Not tomarrow,no.”said Sandy. “I’m goin’ to
Georgia for a week.” “And I’m leaving for Virginia for a week.” said Anne. “Back here, in week, guys? We’ll see each other in a week. And find as much you can about this Wayne Lenmore, okay?” said Matt.
It was a long week for everyone. Lina and Jane were looking marvelous at the reception party that night, wearing identical dresses of a turquoise-green color, ankle–length with shawl that was not out-of-place, but made them look “fantabulous.” Sandy and Anne stayed at luxurious hotels in Virginia and Georgia, eating fine feasts
and taking long dips in the pools there. Also,they all frequently instant messaged each other, to ensure about what they had found out about the mysterious house....
Kellz356: U guyz there?
AlwayzAnn : Im here, don’t know about nobody else.
Kellz356: Matt?
Matt-Dude: yep, matt here.
AlwayzAnn: Did any of u guyz find out about
AlwayzAnn: Wayne Lenmore?
Lina-iz-cool has just signed on.
Lina-iz-cool: hey. Did u find about Wayne L.???
Matt-Dude: we were talking bout that...??did u guyz???
Lina-iz-cool: not really...
AlwayzAnn: well, he was in the 45th issue of the journal
Kellz356: how do u no?
AlwayzAnn: went online and researched about him on
AlwayzAnn: searchpeople.com ... pretty easy,too.
Kellz356: well, I’m sorry, but I have to go...later
AlwayzAnn: BYE
Matt-Dude: later
Lina-iz-cool: bye, Kelly
Kellz356 has just signed out.
Matt-Dude: well, maybe we should find out more.....
AlwayzAnn: yeah, we should.
Jane101 has just signed on.
Jane101: hey guys. Did anyone find out about Wayne?
Matt-Dude: ann got sumthing that he was in the journal
Jane101: Was he really?
AlwayzAnn: do I ever lie? No, so yes, he wuz.
Jane101: Cool That was a fact even I didn’t know
AlwayzAnn: B-)
Jane101: That’s the cool sign, right?
AlwayzAnn: Duh, Jane, duh
Lina-iz-cool: gotta go, bye, eat dinner...
Jane101: no u don’t cuz dinner’s not redy; I live with u, remember, sis????
AlwayzAnn: *groan*
Jane101: lol Heeeeeheeeheee
Sandybeachs21 has just signed on.
Sandybeachs21: hey
AlwayzAnn: gotta go, later guyz and sandy...
AlwayzAnn has just signed out.
Sandybeaches21: I’ve gotta go 2, later %26amp; sorry about that
Sandybeaches21 has just signed out.
Matt-Dude: no use staying here, later.
Matt-Dude, Jane101, and Lina-iz-cool have signed out.
It was a couple days after that when the group met.
Anne, who was the most knowledgeable one there, had taken the most amount of interest in Wayne Lenmore’s life. As she told them on instant messenger, she had found out that he was in the 45th issue of The Journal. Seeing as it was published only very recently in his time, he was quick to be
published in it. Wayne Lenmore had been quite an interesting person, as Anne had put it.
“No, he was only 26 when he inherited his mother’s
fortune,” said Anne, busy online finding out more about Wayne Lenmore. “You’ve been on for an hour researching him? You said you were on an assignment for history ” yelled Kelly. “Now
let me on ” she yelled. “Come on Kelly, it’s not an hour, and he has-he had, I mean,an amazing life Please, just–––just ten
more minutes ” pleaded Anne. “‘Had?’ ‘Had?’ What do you mean, ‘had’?” Matt asked Anne. “He...he...he died three years ago.” Anne stuttered. “He did? How?” asked Kelly.
“A mystery. No one knows why, how, when––-just the fact that three years ago.” replied Anne. “Wow...” said Sandy, from the bed.He was evidently pretending to be asleep. “Does it say where he was last spotted?” asked Jane, curious and silent, sitting on the floor. “It says in Willford,Connec––– ” she started to say, but Lina broke her off. “Thats here, right here He was last spotted in Willford, Connecticut That here He was spotted right HERE She yelled loudly so that Bane, the group’s dog, barked and turned over on its stomach. “Yes, right here,” said Anne, calmly with a smile.
Is my story ok? please tell me! i want to know!?
I think it has a lot of issues. You need an editor - seriously. First of all, you apparently don't know that every time a new person speaks, you change paragraphs. Secondly, you tend to write the way you THINK an author should write instead of using your own "voice". You write in the passive voice. By the end of the first paragraph (which was a horror to get through) I had totally lost any interest in reading any more. No, I don't think it is OK. It needs a ton of work. Your idea is fine, but your technique is seriously lacking.
----
They're, Their, There - Three Different Words.
Careful or you may wind up in my next novel.
Pax - C
Reply:i think its great! your very creative =]
It was a normal day for Anne and Kelly, who were laying about in Kelly’s bedroom, rather bored, for they had nothing to do. They had offered to clean up the neighbor-
hood, but their mothers had refused, seeing the hot weath-
er was rather....well, hot. Considering anything besides going outside, their list was rather short. “ What can we do?” cried Kelly. “ Could we IM Jane, Matt , Sandy, and
Lina at the same time? That would be fun.” suggested A-
nne. “Okay ” said Kelly, getting up. “ No need.” said a
voice behind them. They turned around, to find Sandy,
Jane, Matt, and Lina waiting for them. Kelly groaned loudly–––-she really wanted to IM them, not meet them.
“ Hey. What’s up?” asked Sandy, a tall, broad shouldered,
blond haired guy, who was the founder of six kids
so-called “group”. They never even met during the school year. Now, seeing it was summer, they met each other frequently, every other day. “Nothing. You?” replied Anne. “We were goin’ to that woods behind Rain Orchids.” said Lina. “They–—” she pointed to the guys--- “ claim there is a haunted house. Smack in the middle of the woods. A haunted house. In the woods ”she said, exclaiming it loudly. “ Yeah, right, we believe you, you’re down right we do,” said Kelly, though she looked like she was interested. “ Hmmm... there was something, uh, never mind.” said Jane, who was really thoughtful and curious about things like that. “ No, go on We wanna listen, don’t we?”said Kelly quickly. There were murmurs and nods of agreement. “Well, if you want to know, there was a house
owned by a business tycoon in the woods behind Rain Orchids, a man. He was a millionaire, and people would
die to meet him. He was really generous; he practically
owned Rain Orchids, he did donate a lot of money, and about anyone he met that seemed poor, he would give billions of dollars away to them,” Jane filled them in. “Wow.He sounds amazing But why would he live in the woods?A great man like him?” asked Anne. “I bet for secrecy,”said Matt. He also was a broad shouldered, tall guy, but with brown colored hair and green eyes, unlike Sandy, who had blue eyes. “Yeah, I guess. He wouldn’t want to be interviewed by The Journal everyday, now would he?” said Lina. She was a beautiful girl with sleek, shiny brown hair up to her waist. She also had blue eyes
and a fair skin complexion. “ Well, that makes sense, but, two things: What was his name, and was The Journal even established than?” asked Kelly, Lina’s twin; naturally,
she looked just like Lina, only with blond hair and glasses.
“Well, I think his name was Wayne Lenmore, and yes, The Journal was established then. Oh yeah, it was a long time ago, ‘bout the 1970s.” finished Jane, who was a tall, blue eyed girl with brown curly hair. “Then....um, lets GO Come on ” exclaimed Kelly, who was eager to find out about this “haunted house”. Everyone knew what she was
talking about, so they all hurried to Rain Orchids. Once there, they all asked Ms. Percidal about a man known to
live in the woods. Ms. Percidal was a thin, tall woman
with brown hair usually tied up in a ponytail. She babbled:
“Yes, there was a man, once, a long time ago, who was very generous indeed. He helped this old apple orchid a lot; I did him a bit of a favor: he wanted those woods, and I sold them to him. Never seen him after that, though, you’d think he would come back tovisit ” said Ms. Percidal. “But was his name Wayne Lenmore?” asked Anne. “ I believe so,” said Ms. Percidal.“Were those woods yours?” asked Sandy. He wore an eager expression like the rest. “Yes. They were mine, sold to me by an young man, around the age of 20. He looked quite happy to get rid of the land.” replied Ms. Percidal.“Did Mr. Lenmore have a house in the woods?” asked Matt. “ Not that I know of,” asked Ms. Percidal. After thanking Ms. Percidal, the group went to go in the woods.“Well I think the house is haunted, don’t care what you five think.” said Lina, the minute they got out of the orchid. “Well, I sure don’t. It’s all a bunch of nonsense, if you ask me,” said Sandy. “Well, no one is asking you, so you can keep your thoughts to your self,” snapped Lina.
“Ooooh, look, there’s a house Over there See it?” said Jane. “Where?” were the answers to Jane’s question. They
all ran to the area Jane indicated. “See? Told you Bet it’s
Wayne Lenmore’s...spooky,” she said, after glancing at it. It was at least seven stories high, with windows that were
broken and cracked and had shutters that were brown and the paint was peeling off. The overall house was a brown,
tinge and was rather black, but the paint, like the shutters, was peeling. The little grass around the house was brown and murky, making it look like a real haunted house. “Well...should we go in?” asked Matt. “Maybe.....or not.”
said Kelly. “Come on We’ll take a look, come out. We’ll
knock first,” he added, after seeing the expression on Jane’s face, who was frowning slightly. “Okay...” she agreed, looking weary. They all approached the house, and Matt knocked. RAP. RAP. RAP. He knocked. There was a slight sound, from the depths of the woods, and all was sil-
ent. “Well, looks like Wayne isn’t home. Lets go in,” said Sandy. “Uh, I don’t think–––“ started Kelly. “Lets go,” said Matt in a firm voice. They entered, and the inside of the
house was ruined; the house had white walls, but with pe-
eling paint. The chairs and couches were green and fancy looking, but with moth-eaten fabric covered over the rotti-
ing wood shaped for the couch. There were stairs, but they
were black and looked like they were once burned. The house felt rather cold and misty; the only light came from the blazing sun outside. “This is...well, kind of––-” “Creepy, yeah,” finished Kelly for Lina. TAP. TAP. TAP. “What– what was that?” asked a nervous Anne. “It came from upstairs ” yelled Jane. “Shh I’m trying to listen ” said Matt, but the sound grew louder, and louder, until it sounded like it was right next to them. “Lets GO Ahhhh Help Someone Help ” the girls screamed. “QUIET SHH yelled Sandy. “RUN NOW ” They all ran and ran until they were out of the woods. Panting, Sandy spoke to the frightened girls. “That was something...something...a animal,” he finished lamely. “An animal,” repeated Lina, fuming at him. “We could have––” started Lina. “—died ” screamed Kelly. “No,” said Jane. “We could have found out who is the ghost of Lenmore Mansion Or what is the ghost. Whatever.” Jane corrected Kelly. She turned to Anne, “Um, why did you scream, ‘Run now’ ? That was totally little kid’s stuff to do.” Anne just looked puzzled.
“ I didn’t scream anything,” There was a pause. “Then who did?” asked Jane. There were shrugs and frowns of the question. “Well, I think we should never go back to that creepy place.” said Kelly. “Weren’t you so keen to go
there in the first place, Kells?” asked Sandy. Kelly blushed,
and muttered, “Uh, well,----no----I mean, well–---- um, ma-
be, sort–yeah,” she said, trying to hide her face. “Anyway,”
said Matt, “ We should try finding out about Wayne. Does anyone have suggestions?” he asked. “ We could find old
issues of The Journal , and see if there is anything about him
in there,” suggested Lina. “Yeah That’s a great idea ” they all exclaimed.”But lets meet here tomorrow, ‘cause I gotta
leave for a reception party tonight.” said Jane. “Me too,”
said Lina. “ Not tomarrow,no.”said Sandy. “I’m goin’ to
Georgia for a week.” “And I’m leaving for Virginia for a week.” said Anne. “Back here, in week, guys? We’ll see each other in a week. And find as much you can about this Wayne Lenmore, okay?” said Matt.
It was a long week for everyone. Lina and Jane were looking marvelous at the reception party that night, wearing identical dresses of a turquoise-green color, ankle–length with shawl that was not out-of-place, but made them look “fantabulous.” Sandy and Anne stayed at luxurious hotels in Virginia and Georgia, eating fine feasts
and taking long dips in the pools there. Also,they all frequently instant messaged each other, to ensure about what they had found out about the mysterious house....
Kellz356: U guyz there?
AlwayzAnn : Im here, don’t know about nobody else.
Kellz356: Matt?
Matt-Dude: yep, matt here.
AlwayzAnn: Did any of u guyz find out about
AlwayzAnn: Wayne Lenmore?
Lina-iz-cool has just signed on.
Lina-iz-cool: hey. Did u find about Wayne L.???
Matt-Dude: we were talking bout that...??did u guyz???
Lina-iz-cool: not really...
AlwayzAnn: well, he was in the 45th issue of the journal
Kellz356: how do u no?
AlwayzAnn: went online and researched about him on
AlwayzAnn: searchpeople.com ... pretty easy,too.
Kellz356: well, I’m sorry, but I have to go...later
AlwayzAnn: BYE
Matt-Dude: later
Lina-iz-cool: bye, Kelly
Kellz356 has just signed out.
Matt-Dude: well, maybe we should find out more.....
AlwayzAnn: yeah, we should.
Jane101 has just signed on.
Jane101: hey guys. Did anyone find out about Wayne?
Matt-Dude: ann got sumthing that he was in the journal
Jane101: Was he really?
AlwayzAnn: do I ever lie? No, so yes, he wuz.
Jane101: Cool That was a fact even I didn’t know
AlwayzAnn: B-)
Jane101: That’s the cool sign, right?
AlwayzAnn: Duh, Jane, duh
Lina-iz-cool: gotta go, bye, eat dinner...
Jane101: no u don’t cuz dinner’s not redy; I live with u, remember, sis????
AlwayzAnn: *groan*
Jane101: lol Heeeeeheeeheee
Sandybeachs21 has just signed on.
Sandybeachs21: hey
AlwayzAnn: gotta go, later guyz and sandy...
AlwayzAnn has just signed out.
Sandybeaches21: I’ve gotta go 2, later %26amp; sorry about that
Sandybeaches21 has just signed out.
Matt-Dude: no use staying here, later.
Matt-Dude, Jane101, and Lina-iz-cool have signed out.
It was a couple days after that when the group met.
Anne, who was the most knowledgeable one there, had taken the most amount of interest in Wayne Lenmore’s life. As she told them on instant messenger, she had found out that he was in the 45th issue of The Journal. Seeing as it was published only very recently in his time, he was quick to be
published in it. Wayne Lenmore had been quite an interesting person, as Anne had put it.
“No, he was only 26 when he inherited his mother’s
fortune,” said Anne, busy online finding out more about Wayne Lenmore. “You’ve been on for an hour researching him? You said you were on an assignment for history ” yelled Kelly. “Now
let me on ” she yelled. “Come on Kelly, it’s not an hour, and he has-he had, I mean,an amazing life Please, just–––just ten
more minutes ” pleaded Anne. “‘Had?’ ‘Had?’ What do you mean, ‘had’?” Matt asked Anne. “He...he...he died three years ago.” Anne stuttered. “He did? How?” asked Kelly.
“A mystery. No one knows why, how, when––-just the fact that three years ago.” replied Anne. “Wow...” said Sandy, from the bed.He was evidently pretending to be asleep. “Does it say where he was last spotted?” asked Jane, curious and silent, sitting on the floor. “It says in Willford,Connec––– ” she started to say, but Lina broke her off. “Thats here, right here He was last spotted in Willford, Connecticut That here He was spotted right HERE She yelled loudly so that Bane, the group’s dog, barked and turned over on its stomach. “Yes, right here,” said Anne, calmly with a smile.
Is my story ok? please tell me! i want to know!?
I think it has a lot of issues. You need an editor - seriously. First of all, you apparently don't know that every time a new person speaks, you change paragraphs. Secondly, you tend to write the way you THINK an author should write instead of using your own "voice". You write in the passive voice. By the end of the first paragraph (which was a horror to get through) I had totally lost any interest in reading any more. No, I don't think it is OK. It needs a ton of work. Your idea is fine, but your technique is seriously lacking.
----
They're, Their, There - Three Different Words.
Careful or you may wind up in my next novel.
Pax - C
Reply:i think its great! your very creative =]
Please tell me if my story is good,PLEASE, its couple of chapters?
Rate my story and tell me if its good:
It was a normal day for Anne and Kelly, who were laying about in Kelly’s bedroom, rather bored, for they had nothing to do. They had offered to clean up the neighbor-
hood, but their mothers had refused, seeing the hot weath-
er was rather....well, hot. Considering anything besides going outside, their list was rather short. “ What can we do?” cried Kelly. “ Could we IM Jane, Matt , Sandy, and
Lina at the same time? That would be fun.” suggested A-
nne. “Okay ” said Kelly, getting up. “ No need.” said a
voice behind them. They turned around, to find Sandy,
Jane, Matt, and Lina waiting for them. Kelly groaned loudly–––-she really wanted to IM them, not meet them.
“ Hey. What’s up?” asked Sandy, a tall, broad shouldered,
blond haired guy, who was the founder of six kids
so-called “group”. They never even met during the school year. Now, seeing it was summer, they met each other frequently, every other day. “Nothing. You?” replied Anne. “We were goin’ to that woods behind Rain Orchids.” said Lina. “They–—” she pointed to the guys--- “ claim there is a haunted house. Smack in the middle of the woods. A haunted house. In the woods ”she said, exclaiming it loudly. “ Yeah, right, we believe you, you’re down right we do,” said Kelly, though she looked like she was interested. “ Hmmm... there was something, uh, never mind.” said Jane, who was really thoughtful and curious about things like that. “ No, go on We wanna listen, don’t we?”said Kelly quickly. There were murmurs and nods of agreement. “Well, if you want to know, there was a house
owned by a business tycoon in the woods behind Rain Orchids, a man. He was a millionaire, and people would
die to meet him. He was really generous; he practically
owned Rain Orchids, he did donate a lot of money, and about anyone he met that seemed poor, he would give billions of dollars away to them,” Jane filled them in. “Wow.He sounds amazing But why would he live in the woods?A great man like him?” asked Anne. “I bet for secrecy,”said Matt. He also was a broad shouldered, tall guy, but with brown colored hair and green eyes, unlike Sandy, who had blue eyes. “Yeah, I guess. He wouldn’t want to be interviewed by The Journal everyday, now would he?” said Lina. She was a beautiful girl with sleek, shiny brown hair up to her waist. She also had blue eyes
and a fair skin complexion. “ Well, that makes sense, but, two things: What was his name, and was The Journal even established than?” asked Kelly, Lina’s twin; naturally,
she looked just like Lina, only with blond hair and glasses.
“Well, I think his name was Wayne Lenmore, and yes, The Journal was established then. Oh yeah, it was a long time ago, ‘bout the 1970s.” finished Jane, who was a tall, blue eyed girl with brown curly hair. “Then....um, lets GO Come on ” exclaimed Kelly, who was eager to find out about this “haunted house”. Everyone knew what she was
talking about, so they all hurried to Rain Orchids. Once there, they all asked Ms. Percidal about a man known to
live in the woods. Ms. Percidal was a thin, tall woman
with brown hair usually tied up in a ponytail. She babbled:
“Yes, there was a man, once, a long time ago, who was very generous indeed. He helped this old apple orchid a lot; I did him a bit of a favor: he wanted those woods, and I sold them to him. Never seen him after that, though, you’d think he would come back tovisit ” said Ms. Percidal. “But was his name Wayne Lenmore?” asked Anne. “ I believe so,” said Ms. Percidal.“Were those woods yours?” asked Sandy. He wore an eager expression like the rest. “Yes. They were mine, sold to me by an young man, around the age of 20. He looked quite happy to get rid of the land.” replied Ms. Percidal.“Did Mr. Lenmore have a house in the woods?” asked Matt. “ Not that I know of,” asked Ms. Percidal. After thanking Ms. Percidal, the group went to go in the woods.“Well I think the house is haunted, don’t care what you five think.” said Lina, the minute they got out of the orchid. “Well, I sure don’t. It’s all a bunch of nonsense, if you ask me,” said Sandy. “Well, no one is asking you, so you can keep your thoughts to your self,” snapped Lina.
“Ooooh, look, there’s a house Over there See it?” said Jane. “Where?” were the answers to Jane’s question. They
all ran to the area Jane indicated. “See? Told you Bet it’s
Wayne Lenmore’s...spooky,” she said, after glancing at it. It was at least seven stories high, with windows that were
broken and cracked and had shutters that were brown and the paint was peeling off. The overall house was a brown,
tinge and was rather black, but the paint, like the shutters, was peeling. The little grass around the house was brown and murky, making it look like a real haunted house. “Well...should we go in?” asked Matt. “Maybe.....or not.”
said Kelly. “Come on We’ll take a look, come out. We’ll
knock first,” he added, after seeing the expression on Jane’s face, who was frowning slightly. “Okay...” she agreed, looking weary. They all approached the house, and Matt knocked. RAP. RAP. RAP. He knocked. There was a slight sound, from the depths of the woods, and all was sil-
ent. “Well, looks like Wayne isn’t home. Lets go in,” said Sandy. “Uh, I don’t think–––“ started Kelly. “Lets go,” said Matt in a firm voice. They entered, and the inside of the
house was ruined; the house had white walls, but with pe-
eling paint. The chairs and couches were green and fancy looking, but with moth-eaten fabric covered over the rotti-
ing wood shaped for the couch. There were stairs, but they
were black and looked like they were once burned. The house felt rather cold and misty; the only light came from the blazing sun outside. “This is...well, kind of––-” “Creepy, yeah,” finished Kelly for Lina. TAP. TAP. TAP. “What– what was that?” asked a nervous Anne. “It came from upstairs ” yelled Jane. “Shh I’m trying to listen ” said Matt, but the sound grew louder, and louder, until it sounded like it was right next to them. “Lets GO Ahhhh Help Someone Help ” the girls screamed. “QUIET SHH yelled Sandy. “RUN NOW ” They all ran and ran until they were out of the woods. Panting, Sandy spoke to the frightened girls. “That was something...something...a animal,” he finished lamely. “An animal,” repeated Lina, fuming at him. “We could have––” started Lina. “—died ” screamed Kelly. “No,” said Jane. “We could have found out who is the ghost of Lenmore Mansion Or what is the ghost. Whatever.” Jane corrected Kelly. She turned to Anne, “Um, why did you scream, ‘Run now’ ? That was totally little kid’s stuff to do.” Anne just looked puzzled.
“ I didn’t scream anything,” There was a pause. “Then who did?” asked Jane. There were shrugs and frowns of the question. “Well, I think we should never go back to that creepy place.” said Kelly. “Weren’t you so keen to go
there in the first place, Kells?” asked Sandy. Kelly blushed,
and muttered, “Uh, well,----no----I mean, well–---- um, ma-
be, sort–yeah,” she said, trying to hide her face. “Anyway,”
said Matt, “ We should try finding out about Wayne. Does anyone have suggestions?” he asked. “ We could find old
issues of The Journal , and see if there is anything about him
in there,” suggested Lina. “Yeah That’s a great idea ” they all exclaimed.”But lets meet here tomorrow, ‘cause I gotta
leave for a reception party tonight.” said Jane. “Me too,”
said Lina. “ Not tomarrow,no.”said Sandy. “I’m goin’ to
Georgia for a week.” “And I’m leaving for Virginia for a week.” said Anne. “Back here, in week, guys? We’ll see each other in a week. And find as much you can about this Wayne Lenmore, okay?” said Matt.
It was a long week for everyone. Lina and Jane were looking marvelous at the reception party that night, wearing identical dresses of a turquoise-green color, ankle–length with shawl that was not out-of-place, but made them look “fantabulous.” Sandy and Anne stayed at luxurious hotels in Virginia and Georgia, eating fine feasts
and taking long dips in the pools there. Also,they all frequently instant messaged each other, to ensure about what they had found out about the mysterious house....
Kellz356: U guyz there?
AlwayzAnn : Im here, don’t know about nobody else.
Kellz356: Matt?
Matt-Dude: yep, matt here.
AlwayzAnn: Did any of u guyz find out about
AlwayzAnn: Wayne Lenmore?
Lina-iz-cool has just signed on.
Lina-iz-cool: hey. Did u find about Wayne L.???
Matt-Dude: we were talking bout that...??did u guyz???
Lina-iz-cool: not really...
AlwayzAnn: well, he was in the 45th issue of the journal
Kellz356: how do u no?
AlwayzAnn: went online and researched about him on
AlwayzAnn: searchpeople.com ... pretty easy,too.
Kellz356: well, I’m sorry, but I have to go...later
AlwayzAnn: BYE
Matt-Dude: later
Lina-iz-cool: bye, Kelly
Kellz356 has just signed out.
Matt-Dude: well, maybe we should find out more.....
AlwayzAnn: yeah, we should.
Jane101 has just signed on.
Jane101: hey guys. Did anyone find out about Wayne?
Matt-Dude: ann got sumthing that he was in the journal
Jane101: Was he really?
AlwayzAnn: do I ever lie? No, so yes, he wuz.
Jane101: Cool That was a fact even I didn’t know
AlwayzAnn: B-)
Jane101: That’s the cool sign, right?
AlwayzAnn: Duh, Jane, duh
Lina-iz-cool: gotta go, bye, eat dinner...
Jane101: no u don’t cuz dinner’s not redy; I live with u, remember, sis????
AlwayzAnn: *groan*
Jane101: lol Heeeeeheeeheee
Sandybeachs21 has just signed on.
Sandybeachs21: hey
AlwayzAnn: gotta go, later guyz and sandy...
AlwayzAnn has just signed out.
Sandybeaches21: I’ve gotta go 2, later %26amp; sorry about that
Sandybeaches21 has just signed out.
Matt-Dude: no use staying here, later.
Matt-Dude, Jane101, and Lina-iz-cool have signed out.
It was a couple days after that when the group met.
Anne, who was the most knowledgeable one there, had taken the most amount of interest in Wayne Lenmore’s life. As she told them on instant messenger, she had found out that he was in the 45th issue of The Journal. Seeing as it was published only very recently in his time, he was quick to be
published in it. Wayne Lenmore had been quite an interesting person, as Anne had put it.
“No, he was only 26 when he inherited his mother’s
fortune,” said Anne, busy online finding out more about Wayne Lenmore. “You’ve been on for an hour researching him? You said you were on an assignment for history ” yelled Kelly. “Now
let me on ” she yelled. “Come on Kelly, it’s not an hour, and he has-he had, I mean,an amazing life Please, just–––just ten
more minutes ” pleaded Anne. “‘Had?’ ‘Had?’ What do you mean, ‘had’?” Matt asked Anne. “He...he...he died three years ago.” Anne stuttered. “He did? How?” asked Kelly.
“A mystery. No one knows why, how, when––-just the fact that three years ago.” replied Anne. “Wow...” said Sandy, from the bed.He was evidently pretending to be asleep. “Does it say where he was last spotted?” asked Jane, curious and silent, sitting on the floor. “It says in Willford,Connec––– ” she started to say, but Lina broke her off. “Thats here, right here He was last spotted in Willford, Connecticut That here He was spotted right HERE She yelled loudly so that Bane, the group’s dog, barked and turned over on its stomach. “Yes, right here,” said Anne, calmly with a smile.
Please tell me if my story is good,PLEASE, its couple of chapters?
I'm not going to read it. Instead, I'm going to direct you to fictionpress.com, where you can get a free account and post your stories online, chapter by chapter, for other people (both members and non-members) to read and comment on. It's a fantastic writer-friendly place and you'll get feedback on your story, and constructive criticism so you can see what you should work on.
Reply:SORRY TO LONG I WILL READ IT LATER
Reply:Terrible
It was a normal day for Anne and Kelly, who were laying about in Kelly’s bedroom, rather bored, for they had nothing to do. They had offered to clean up the neighbor-
hood, but their mothers had refused, seeing the hot weath-
er was rather....well, hot. Considering anything besides going outside, their list was rather short. “ What can we do?” cried Kelly. “ Could we IM Jane, Matt , Sandy, and
Lina at the same time? That would be fun.” suggested A-
nne. “Okay ” said Kelly, getting up. “ No need.” said a
voice behind them. They turned around, to find Sandy,
Jane, Matt, and Lina waiting for them. Kelly groaned loudly–––-she really wanted to IM them, not meet them.
“ Hey. What’s up?” asked Sandy, a tall, broad shouldered,
blond haired guy, who was the founder of six kids
so-called “group”. They never even met during the school year. Now, seeing it was summer, they met each other frequently, every other day. “Nothing. You?” replied Anne. “We were goin’ to that woods behind Rain Orchids.” said Lina. “They–—” she pointed to the guys--- “ claim there is a haunted house. Smack in the middle of the woods. A haunted house. In the woods ”she said, exclaiming it loudly. “ Yeah, right, we believe you, you’re down right we do,” said Kelly, though she looked like she was interested. “ Hmmm... there was something, uh, never mind.” said Jane, who was really thoughtful and curious about things like that. “ No, go on We wanna listen, don’t we?”said Kelly quickly. There were murmurs and nods of agreement. “Well, if you want to know, there was a house
owned by a business tycoon in the woods behind Rain Orchids, a man. He was a millionaire, and people would
die to meet him. He was really generous; he practically
owned Rain Orchids, he did donate a lot of money, and about anyone he met that seemed poor, he would give billions of dollars away to them,” Jane filled them in. “Wow.He sounds amazing But why would he live in the woods?A great man like him?” asked Anne. “I bet for secrecy,”said Matt. He also was a broad shouldered, tall guy, but with brown colored hair and green eyes, unlike Sandy, who had blue eyes. “Yeah, I guess. He wouldn’t want to be interviewed by The Journal everyday, now would he?” said Lina. She was a beautiful girl with sleek, shiny brown hair up to her waist. She also had blue eyes
and a fair skin complexion. “ Well, that makes sense, but, two things: What was his name, and was The Journal even established than?” asked Kelly, Lina’s twin; naturally,
she looked just like Lina, only with blond hair and glasses.
“Well, I think his name was Wayne Lenmore, and yes, The Journal was established then. Oh yeah, it was a long time ago, ‘bout the 1970s.” finished Jane, who was a tall, blue eyed girl with brown curly hair. “Then....um, lets GO Come on ” exclaimed Kelly, who was eager to find out about this “haunted house”. Everyone knew what she was
talking about, so they all hurried to Rain Orchids. Once there, they all asked Ms. Percidal about a man known to
live in the woods. Ms. Percidal was a thin, tall woman
with brown hair usually tied up in a ponytail. She babbled:
“Yes, there was a man, once, a long time ago, who was very generous indeed. He helped this old apple orchid a lot; I did him a bit of a favor: he wanted those woods, and I sold them to him. Never seen him after that, though, you’d think he would come back tovisit ” said Ms. Percidal. “But was his name Wayne Lenmore?” asked Anne. “ I believe so,” said Ms. Percidal.“Were those woods yours?” asked Sandy. He wore an eager expression like the rest. “Yes. They were mine, sold to me by an young man, around the age of 20. He looked quite happy to get rid of the land.” replied Ms. Percidal.“Did Mr. Lenmore have a house in the woods?” asked Matt. “ Not that I know of,” asked Ms. Percidal. After thanking Ms. Percidal, the group went to go in the woods.“Well I think the house is haunted, don’t care what you five think.” said Lina, the minute they got out of the orchid. “Well, I sure don’t. It’s all a bunch of nonsense, if you ask me,” said Sandy. “Well, no one is asking you, so you can keep your thoughts to your self,” snapped Lina.
“Ooooh, look, there’s a house Over there See it?” said Jane. “Where?” were the answers to Jane’s question. They
all ran to the area Jane indicated. “See? Told you Bet it’s
Wayne Lenmore’s...spooky,” she said, after glancing at it. It was at least seven stories high, with windows that were
broken and cracked and had shutters that were brown and the paint was peeling off. The overall house was a brown,
tinge and was rather black, but the paint, like the shutters, was peeling. The little grass around the house was brown and murky, making it look like a real haunted house. “Well...should we go in?” asked Matt. “Maybe.....or not.”
said Kelly. “Come on We’ll take a look, come out. We’ll
knock first,” he added, after seeing the expression on Jane’s face, who was frowning slightly. “Okay...” she agreed, looking weary. They all approached the house, and Matt knocked. RAP. RAP. RAP. He knocked. There was a slight sound, from the depths of the woods, and all was sil-
ent. “Well, looks like Wayne isn’t home. Lets go in,” said Sandy. “Uh, I don’t think–––“ started Kelly. “Lets go,” said Matt in a firm voice. They entered, and the inside of the
house was ruined; the house had white walls, but with pe-
eling paint. The chairs and couches were green and fancy looking, but with moth-eaten fabric covered over the rotti-
ing wood shaped for the couch. There were stairs, but they
were black and looked like they were once burned. The house felt rather cold and misty; the only light came from the blazing sun outside. “This is...well, kind of––-” “Creepy, yeah,” finished Kelly for Lina. TAP. TAP. TAP. “What– what was that?” asked a nervous Anne. “It came from upstairs ” yelled Jane. “Shh I’m trying to listen ” said Matt, but the sound grew louder, and louder, until it sounded like it was right next to them. “Lets GO Ahhhh Help Someone Help ” the girls screamed. “QUIET SHH yelled Sandy. “RUN NOW ” They all ran and ran until they were out of the woods. Panting, Sandy spoke to the frightened girls. “That was something...something...a animal,” he finished lamely. “An animal,” repeated Lina, fuming at him. “We could have––” started Lina. “—died ” screamed Kelly. “No,” said Jane. “We could have found out who is the ghost of Lenmore Mansion Or what is the ghost. Whatever.” Jane corrected Kelly. She turned to Anne, “Um, why did you scream, ‘Run now’ ? That was totally little kid’s stuff to do.” Anne just looked puzzled.
“ I didn’t scream anything,” There was a pause. “Then who did?” asked Jane. There were shrugs and frowns of the question. “Well, I think we should never go back to that creepy place.” said Kelly. “Weren’t you so keen to go
there in the first place, Kells?” asked Sandy. Kelly blushed,
and muttered, “Uh, well,----no----I mean, well–---- um, ma-
be, sort–yeah,” she said, trying to hide her face. “Anyway,”
said Matt, “ We should try finding out about Wayne. Does anyone have suggestions?” he asked. “ We could find old
issues of The Journal , and see if there is anything about him
in there,” suggested Lina. “Yeah That’s a great idea ” they all exclaimed.”But lets meet here tomorrow, ‘cause I gotta
leave for a reception party tonight.” said Jane. “Me too,”
said Lina. “ Not tomarrow,no.”said Sandy. “I’m goin’ to
Georgia for a week.” “And I’m leaving for Virginia for a week.” said Anne. “Back here, in week, guys? We’ll see each other in a week. And find as much you can about this Wayne Lenmore, okay?” said Matt.
It was a long week for everyone. Lina and Jane were looking marvelous at the reception party that night, wearing identical dresses of a turquoise-green color, ankle–length with shawl that was not out-of-place, but made them look “fantabulous.” Sandy and Anne stayed at luxurious hotels in Virginia and Georgia, eating fine feasts
and taking long dips in the pools there. Also,they all frequently instant messaged each other, to ensure about what they had found out about the mysterious house....
Kellz356: U guyz there?
AlwayzAnn : Im here, don’t know about nobody else.
Kellz356: Matt?
Matt-Dude: yep, matt here.
AlwayzAnn: Did any of u guyz find out about
AlwayzAnn: Wayne Lenmore?
Lina-iz-cool has just signed on.
Lina-iz-cool: hey. Did u find about Wayne L.???
Matt-Dude: we were talking bout that...??did u guyz???
Lina-iz-cool: not really...
AlwayzAnn: well, he was in the 45th issue of the journal
Kellz356: how do u no?
AlwayzAnn: went online and researched about him on
AlwayzAnn: searchpeople.com ... pretty easy,too.
Kellz356: well, I’m sorry, but I have to go...later
AlwayzAnn: BYE
Matt-Dude: later
Lina-iz-cool: bye, Kelly
Kellz356 has just signed out.
Matt-Dude: well, maybe we should find out more.....
AlwayzAnn: yeah, we should.
Jane101 has just signed on.
Jane101: hey guys. Did anyone find out about Wayne?
Matt-Dude: ann got sumthing that he was in the journal
Jane101: Was he really?
AlwayzAnn: do I ever lie? No, so yes, he wuz.
Jane101: Cool That was a fact even I didn’t know
AlwayzAnn: B-)
Jane101: That’s the cool sign, right?
AlwayzAnn: Duh, Jane, duh
Lina-iz-cool: gotta go, bye, eat dinner...
Jane101: no u don’t cuz dinner’s not redy; I live with u, remember, sis????
AlwayzAnn: *groan*
Jane101: lol Heeeeeheeeheee
Sandybeachs21 has just signed on.
Sandybeachs21: hey
AlwayzAnn: gotta go, later guyz and sandy...
AlwayzAnn has just signed out.
Sandybeaches21: I’ve gotta go 2, later %26amp; sorry about that
Sandybeaches21 has just signed out.
Matt-Dude: no use staying here, later.
Matt-Dude, Jane101, and Lina-iz-cool have signed out.
It was a couple days after that when the group met.
Anne, who was the most knowledgeable one there, had taken the most amount of interest in Wayne Lenmore’s life. As she told them on instant messenger, she had found out that he was in the 45th issue of The Journal. Seeing as it was published only very recently in his time, he was quick to be
published in it. Wayne Lenmore had been quite an interesting person, as Anne had put it.
“No, he was only 26 when he inherited his mother’s
fortune,” said Anne, busy online finding out more about Wayne Lenmore. “You’ve been on for an hour researching him? You said you were on an assignment for history ” yelled Kelly. “Now
let me on ” she yelled. “Come on Kelly, it’s not an hour, and he has-he had, I mean,an amazing life Please, just–––just ten
more minutes ” pleaded Anne. “‘Had?’ ‘Had?’ What do you mean, ‘had’?” Matt asked Anne. “He...he...he died three years ago.” Anne stuttered. “He did? How?” asked Kelly.
“A mystery. No one knows why, how, when––-just the fact that three years ago.” replied Anne. “Wow...” said Sandy, from the bed.He was evidently pretending to be asleep. “Does it say where he was last spotted?” asked Jane, curious and silent, sitting on the floor. “It says in Willford,Connec––– ” she started to say, but Lina broke her off. “Thats here, right here He was last spotted in Willford, Connecticut That here He was spotted right HERE She yelled loudly so that Bane, the group’s dog, barked and turned over on its stomach. “Yes, right here,” said Anne, calmly with a smile.
Please tell me if my story is good,PLEASE, its couple of chapters?
I'm not going to read it. Instead, I'm going to direct you to fictionpress.com, where you can get a free account and post your stories online, chapter by chapter, for other people (both members and non-members) to read and comment on. It's a fantastic writer-friendly place and you'll get feedback on your story, and constructive criticism so you can see what you should work on.
Reply:SORRY TO LONG I WILL READ IT LATER
Reply:Terrible
Remove mole with herbal paste? - It did work?
About 3 weeks ago I posted this: I have been hearing a lot about the herbal paste from The Wart %26amp; Mole Remover Co. I have seen the website and it looks good but before I buy it I wonder if anyone here has bought it? Thanks in advance. Si
I just wanted to report back, because I decided to give it a go. I now have no moles. It was fantastic. The moles disappeared almost instantly. They went very flat and very black then it kind of scabbed over. When the scabs first fell off my skin was a little pink but it is now blending in. Day by day it is looking more and more invisible. Sorry mr doctor (who said it wouldn't work) you were wrong! It did work!
Remove mole with herbal paste? - It did work?
Lets hope B%26amp;Q dont start selling Mole and Wart removing potion, because you and georga_gray will be out of business.
Reply:Thanks for posting your experience with this. I wondered if it really did work. I think I will give it a try too.
Reply:Is it April Fool's Day? I can't believe this story but really love for it to be true as I have a lot of moles and would dearly love to be mole free. I once had one removed surgically and was surpised that it was like a spherical object and had been larger on the surface than below it. I had always imaging huge roots and an ice berg type scenario ie something like 1/8 above the surface and the rest below. So my experience suggests that this could be true.
What about side effects though?
Sounds fantastic.
Reply:Is there any dangers associated with using it. Do the moles have to be raised surface moles or will it work on flat ones.
add to question ta
bougainvillea
I just wanted to report back, because I decided to give it a go. I now have no moles. It was fantastic. The moles disappeared almost instantly. They went very flat and very black then it kind of scabbed over. When the scabs first fell off my skin was a little pink but it is now blending in. Day by day it is looking more and more invisible. Sorry mr doctor (who said it wouldn't work) you were wrong! It did work!
Remove mole with herbal paste? - It did work?
Lets hope B%26amp;Q dont start selling Mole and Wart removing potion, because you and georga_gray will be out of business.
Reply:Thanks for posting your experience with this. I wondered if it really did work. I think I will give it a try too.
Reply:Is it April Fool's Day? I can't believe this story but really love for it to be true as I have a lot of moles and would dearly love to be mole free. I once had one removed surgically and was surpised that it was like a spherical object and had been larger on the surface than below it. I had always imaging huge roots and an ice berg type scenario ie something like 1/8 above the surface and the rest below. So my experience suggests that this could be true.
What about side effects though?
Sounds fantastic.
Reply:Is there any dangers associated with using it. Do the moles have to be raised surface moles or will it work on flat ones.
add to question ta
bougainvillea
College Admissions Essay?
I am writing about how a class I have taken has inspired me to become involved in the medical field. This is all I have so far:
As I stood there with the needle clenched between my fingers and my hands nervously shaking, I could barely comprehend what I was about to do. This was a real live person that I was about to perform on. I was so petrified that I was going to hurt her. Quickly, I pierced her skin with the needle and delved deep for a vein. Finally, a sense of relief overcame my body when the tube began to fill with blood.
Hitting that vein and filling that tube of blood was just the tip of the iceberg. I knew from the moment that I stepped foot into Mr. Johnson’s third period Laboratory Assistant class, that I had found out just what I wanted to do with my life. I knew the medical field was definitely my forte.
I am not exactly sure where to go from here. Can someone please give me some ideas? Thanks!!
College Admissions Essay?
Should really come from you, I understand writer's block and needing advice to get your thoughts flowing though. You can continue with something like, "Many of my friends have no idea what they want to do, they intend to use their first two years in college trying to figure it out before they are forced to choose a major, but I know without a doubt at this moment in my life that nursing is my destiny." By the way, you may be having a writer's block because, you're not really sure if this is what you want to do! Or whether or not you're really wanting to goto college or whether or not it's sort of being forced on you! There is so much pressure to impress and not be yourself that I don't blame you for writing essays in which you feel you are thinking about everything you say in detail rather than actually expressing yourself and your emotions. I know that I am recently interested in the field of medicine and I would say something like, "I look around me and I see what other people do for a living. I think back to my days in television, education, and culinary service. It's like none of it really meant anything. The decision to become a nurse just FEELS right. It feels like me, it feels like a good decision, and it's something I know I am capable of if I just work hard enough. I would be honored to be given the opportunity to work on my BSN degree in nursing at your college (or university). Anyway, I don't know whether you watch Grey's Anatomy or not but I like the theme you have going here, it reminds me of the first episode in the season this year where the character Lexi says to the character George O'Malley "And you...you delivered a BABY today".
Reply:Just go on with your forte or inclination in life. As you go on and allow yourself be trained in the medical field you chose, you'll learn to handle more your emotions - knowing than every work must be done objectively as long as you are doing the right thing which is sustaining life.
Reply:Let's start with what you have. It's good (only one or two grammatical errors that you can take care of later), but I would change the last word from "forte" to "calling." Although forte shows some reasonably impressive vocabulary, it does not correctly elaborate the previous sentence. You want a word that parallels "what I wanted to do with my life."
As for the rest of it, describe what kind of medicine you want to go into and how exactly Mr. Johnson's class made you realize that you wanted to do it.
Reply:Think of more events where you can personalise. However stay within the medical theme as in how you had derived a sense of happiness being of help to people and how the events further motivated you in you daily activities. It should be people oriented stuffs afterall being a doctor is like trying to improve the lives of your patients?
As I stood there with the needle clenched between my fingers and my hands nervously shaking, I could barely comprehend what I was about to do. This was a real live person that I was about to perform on. I was so petrified that I was going to hurt her. Quickly, I pierced her skin with the needle and delved deep for a vein. Finally, a sense of relief overcame my body when the tube began to fill with blood.
Hitting that vein and filling that tube of blood was just the tip of the iceberg. I knew from the moment that I stepped foot into Mr. Johnson’s third period Laboratory Assistant class, that I had found out just what I wanted to do with my life. I knew the medical field was definitely my forte.
I am not exactly sure where to go from here. Can someone please give me some ideas? Thanks!!
College Admissions Essay?
Should really come from you, I understand writer's block and needing advice to get your thoughts flowing though. You can continue with something like, "Many of my friends have no idea what they want to do, they intend to use their first two years in college trying to figure it out before they are forced to choose a major, but I know without a doubt at this moment in my life that nursing is my destiny." By the way, you may be having a writer's block because, you're not really sure if this is what you want to do! Or whether or not you're really wanting to goto college or whether or not it's sort of being forced on you! There is so much pressure to impress and not be yourself that I don't blame you for writing essays in which you feel you are thinking about everything you say in detail rather than actually expressing yourself and your emotions. I know that I am recently interested in the field of medicine and I would say something like, "I look around me and I see what other people do for a living. I think back to my days in television, education, and culinary service. It's like none of it really meant anything. The decision to become a nurse just FEELS right. It feels like me, it feels like a good decision, and it's something I know I am capable of if I just work hard enough. I would be honored to be given the opportunity to work on my BSN degree in nursing at your college (or university). Anyway, I don't know whether you watch Grey's Anatomy or not but I like the theme you have going here, it reminds me of the first episode in the season this year where the character Lexi says to the character George O'Malley "And you...you delivered a BABY today".
Reply:Just go on with your forte or inclination in life. As you go on and allow yourself be trained in the medical field you chose, you'll learn to handle more your emotions - knowing than every work must be done objectively as long as you are doing the right thing which is sustaining life.
Reply:Let's start with what you have. It's good (only one or two grammatical errors that you can take care of later), but I would change the last word from "forte" to "calling." Although forte shows some reasonably impressive vocabulary, it does not correctly elaborate the previous sentence. You want a word that parallels "what I wanted to do with my life."
As for the rest of it, describe what kind of medicine you want to go into and how exactly Mr. Johnson's class made you realize that you wanted to do it.
Reply:Think of more events where you can personalise. However stay within the medical theme as in how you had derived a sense of happiness being of help to people and how the events further motivated you in you daily activities. It should be people oriented stuffs afterall being a doctor is like trying to improve the lives of your patients?
College Admissions Essay?
I am writing about how a class I have taken has inspired me to become involved in the medical field. This is all I have so far:
As I stood there with the needle clenched between my fingers and my hands nervously shaking, I could barely comprehend what I was about to do. This was a real live person that I was about to perform on. I was so petrified that I was going to hurt her. Quickly, I pierced her skin with the needle and delved deep for a vein. Finally, a sense of relief overcame my body when the tube began to fill with blood.
Hitting that vein and filling that tube of blood was just the tip of the iceberg. I knew from the moment that I stepped foot into Mr. Johnson’s third period Laboratory Assistant class, that I had found out just what I wanted to do with my life. I knew the medical field was definitely my forte.
I am not exactly sure where to go from here. Can someone please give me some ideas? Thanks!!
College Admissions Essay?
Should really come from you, I understand writer's block and needing advice to get your thoughts flowing though. You can continue with something like, "Many of my friends have no idea what they want to do, they intend to use their first two years in college trying to figure it out before they are forced to choose a major, but I know without a doubt at this moment in my life that nursing is my destiny." By the way, you may be having a writer's block because, you're not really sure if this is what you want to do! Or whether or not you're really wanting to goto college or whether or not it's sort of being forced on you! There is so much pressure to impress and not be yourself that I don't blame you for writing essays in which you feel you are thinking about everything you say in detail rather than actually expressing yourself and your emotions. I know that I am recently interested in the field of medicine and I would say something like, "I look around me and I see what other people do for a living. I think back to my days in television, education, and culinary service. It's like none of it really meant anything. The decision to become a nurse just FEELS right. It feels like me, it feels like a good decision, and it's something I know I am capable of if I just work hard enough. I would be honored to be given the opportunity to work on my BSN degree in nursing at your college (or university). Anyway, I don't know whether you watch Grey's Anatomy or not but I like the theme you have going here, it reminds me of the first episode in the season this year where the character Lexi says to the character George O'Malley "And you...you delivered a BABY today".
Reply:Just go on with your forte or inclination in life. As you go on and allow yourself be trained in the medical field you chose, you'll learn to handle more your emotions - knowing than every work must be done objectively as long as you are doing the right thing which is sustaining life.
Reply:Let's start with what you have. It's good (only one or two grammatical errors that you can take care of later), but I would change the last word from "forte" to "calling." Although forte shows some reasonably impressive vocabulary, it does not correctly elaborate the previous sentence. You want a word that parallels "what I wanted to do with my life."
As for the rest of it, describe what kind of medicine you want to go into and how exactly Mr. Johnson's class made you realize that you wanted to do it.
Reply:Think of more events where you can personalise. However stay within the medical theme as in how you had derived a sense of happiness being of help to people and how the events further motivated you in you daily activities. It should be people oriented stuffs afterall being a doctor is like trying to improve the lives of your patients?
As I stood there with the needle clenched between my fingers and my hands nervously shaking, I could barely comprehend what I was about to do. This was a real live person that I was about to perform on. I was so petrified that I was going to hurt her. Quickly, I pierced her skin with the needle and delved deep for a vein. Finally, a sense of relief overcame my body when the tube began to fill with blood.
Hitting that vein and filling that tube of blood was just the tip of the iceberg. I knew from the moment that I stepped foot into Mr. Johnson’s third period Laboratory Assistant class, that I had found out just what I wanted to do with my life. I knew the medical field was definitely my forte.
I am not exactly sure where to go from here. Can someone please give me some ideas? Thanks!!
College Admissions Essay?
Should really come from you, I understand writer's block and needing advice to get your thoughts flowing though. You can continue with something like, "Many of my friends have no idea what they want to do, they intend to use their first two years in college trying to figure it out before they are forced to choose a major, but I know without a doubt at this moment in my life that nursing is my destiny." By the way, you may be having a writer's block because, you're not really sure if this is what you want to do! Or whether or not you're really wanting to goto college or whether or not it's sort of being forced on you! There is so much pressure to impress and not be yourself that I don't blame you for writing essays in which you feel you are thinking about everything you say in detail rather than actually expressing yourself and your emotions. I know that I am recently interested in the field of medicine and I would say something like, "I look around me and I see what other people do for a living. I think back to my days in television, education, and culinary service. It's like none of it really meant anything. The decision to become a nurse just FEELS right. It feels like me, it feels like a good decision, and it's something I know I am capable of if I just work hard enough. I would be honored to be given the opportunity to work on my BSN degree in nursing at your college (or university). Anyway, I don't know whether you watch Grey's Anatomy or not but I like the theme you have going here, it reminds me of the first episode in the season this year where the character Lexi says to the character George O'Malley "And you...you delivered a BABY today".
Reply:Just go on with your forte or inclination in life. As you go on and allow yourself be trained in the medical field you chose, you'll learn to handle more your emotions - knowing than every work must be done objectively as long as you are doing the right thing which is sustaining life.
Reply:Let's start with what you have. It's good (only one or two grammatical errors that you can take care of later), but I would change the last word from "forte" to "calling." Although forte shows some reasonably impressive vocabulary, it does not correctly elaborate the previous sentence. You want a word that parallels "what I wanted to do with my life."
As for the rest of it, describe what kind of medicine you want to go into and how exactly Mr. Johnson's class made you realize that you wanted to do it.
Reply:Think of more events where you can personalise. However stay within the medical theme as in how you had derived a sense of happiness being of help to people and how the events further motivated you in you daily activities. It should be people oriented stuffs afterall being a doctor is like trying to improve the lives of your patients?
I have had these sore red spots on my breasts for about 8 weeks now,?
they keep dissapearing for about a day then reappear with their new best friend.. Mr Bigger spot... anyway, ive tried witch hazel, toothpaste, sudocreme, vaseline, savlon, baby oil and fucidin cream from my doc.. any advice.. apart from chopping off 6 inches of skin and letting it grow back.
I have had these sore red spots on my breasts for about 8 weeks now,?
you should check them out with your doctor..it could be a little more serios then just spots i.e cancer..other then that make sure your body remains hydrated..drinks loads of water 8-12 glasses everyday...or jus try using BIO OIL.u could get it in any drug store..boots,superdrud..which ever u prefer.its a really good product which would get rid of the spots...oh yes fruits like watermelon,oranges and apples are good as well..
Reply:I think you should go see a doctor. It may be somethng more serious than you think. And just to be safe i think you should check your breasts for any lumps or bumps. In the shower because the water lets you hand run smoothly. If there are any bumps of some sort i really think you should go to the hospital. it can be breast cancer. But if not than it may just ba an allergy.
good luck
Reply:send me a picture of them and i will let you know
Reply:i'm not an expert but i could come round and have a look at them for you
Reply:We'd have to see them to give a proper diagnosis I'm afraid
Reply:google... IBS its a fast growing cancer that doesn't have lumps
Reply:I would suggest getting it checked with a doctor. It is not very smart to try to diagnose and treat yourself!
Reply:It sounds like maybe a staph infection. Topicals won't help. You may need oral antibiotics. Go back to your doc or get a new one.
If you are breast feeding, they could be clogged milk ducts/mastitis. Still need oral antibiotics.
Reply:This can be an allergy to some bra.. for sure...Try to find out if there is certain clothes that you are using that produce this to you..
Reply:Want me to take a look??
I have had these sore red spots on my breasts for about 8 weeks now,?
you should check them out with your doctor..it could be a little more serios then just spots i.e cancer..other then that make sure your body remains hydrated..drinks loads of water 8-12 glasses everyday...or jus try using BIO OIL.u could get it in any drug store..boots,superdrud..which ever u prefer.its a really good product which would get rid of the spots...oh yes fruits like watermelon,oranges and apples are good as well..
Reply:I think you should go see a doctor. It may be somethng more serious than you think. And just to be safe i think you should check your breasts for any lumps or bumps. In the shower because the water lets you hand run smoothly. If there are any bumps of some sort i really think you should go to the hospital. it can be breast cancer. But if not than it may just ba an allergy.
good luck
Reply:send me a picture of them and i will let you know
Reply:i'm not an expert but i could come round and have a look at them for you
Reply:We'd have to see them to give a proper diagnosis I'm afraid
Reply:google... IBS its a fast growing cancer that doesn't have lumps
Reply:I would suggest getting it checked with a doctor. It is not very smart to try to diagnose and treat yourself!
Reply:It sounds like maybe a staph infection. Topicals won't help. You may need oral antibiotics. Go back to your doc or get a new one.
If you are breast feeding, they could be clogged milk ducts/mastitis. Still need oral antibiotics.
Reply:This can be an allergy to some bra.. for sure...Try to find out if there is certain clothes that you are using that produce this to you..
Reply:Want me to take a look??
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